Sunday, June 7, 2009

The Other Shoe May Never Drop

Sometimes I forget to focus on my many blessings, and instead hone in on whatever has me irritated or upset. I think there are a lot of people who do this, so I'm not going to beat myself up for it. I do admit that I need to tip the focus scales a little more on the side of blessings. I am healthy. My family is healthy. I have three amazing kids. I have wonderful friends. I have a home and my husband has a secure job. Why, though, when I think about these things, do I occasionally feel a hesitation, and why does the expression about "waiting for the other shoe to drop" come to mind? Is there a limit to the blessings one can claim before some unforeseen tragedy strikes close to home, or even at home? I see people that I know dealing with serious traumas and terminal illnesses, and I wonder how they cope, how they continue to see the blessings in their lives in the face of an awful hand that's been dealt to them. Would I be able to do that? Would I be strong or fall apart or spiral into depression? I feel like I'm rambling a bit, but there's a lot going on in my head. I want to remember each day, all day, what I am grateful for. I don't want to worry or lose sleep over what could happen.